the zit remedy ([info]bravenewworld) wrote,
@ 2002-12-01 02:06:00
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my baby is gone. and i'm almost couging up vomit from this.



i wrote in his tiny box that once held an unsuspecting mug:

birch: beloved pet & friend
born: april 2001
died: dec. 1, 2002, 1:48 am

dear birch, i love you so much and i really want to believe there is a heaven for you to go to. you went shopping with me in nyc + even attendied psych class at nyu. everyone who met you loved you and was impressed when you ran in tubes. you fathered five children, and cougot will miss you most of all. i'm so sorry you died and i will always love and remember you.

love, danielle


i really have to stop having pets becase when i lose them i just want to stick a knife in myself and i can't believe i'm even having that fucking thought after the hospital and the things i went through. tomorrow i have to prove i'm stable and right now i'm just thinking how i want to stay home an cry for a week.

you might say it was just a hamster but birch was different. we did so much togehter. he played on my desk every night. he had fucking adventures. he escaped more than any other hamster in the history of the world. and i loved him.

he represented a time when i was happier. when my best friend was sharon and we didn't have so many terrible misunderstandings between us. before simon hated me. before everything fell apart in my life. maybe that's stupid to you but it's true to me. everything changed so much and i regret many things but birch, he was just so wonderful and sweet to everyone minus mr. peeps and i just feel fucking terrible.

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[info]commoncold
2002-12-01 12:26 am UTC (link)
i'm really sorry danielle...i remember playing with birch last summer at your house. we even have a picture of me looking at your hamsters from your bed. i know birch meant the most to you, but stay strong okay?

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:30 am UTC (link)
i know. he was like my favorite rodent i've ever had (i've had like 7 hamsters before and 6-8 guinea pigs in my life). he was just really sweet.

i remember the day sharon and i went to petco. i wasn't planning on even getting a pet and then we saw him.. and she was like: but he's so cute. get him get him get him. so i did. and then mr. peeps was mean to him but he was such a sweet guy.

and in the rematch of older birch vs. the peeps birch won.. it was the time that peep's cage broke and they had to bunk.

anyway, thanks for your nice reply. i just feel so sad right now.

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[info]lookofevil
2002-12-01 12:59 am UTC (link)
u____u I've never even met you, and I never post in your journal, but I read it all the time and I've always loved looking at the pictures you post. I'll miss seeing his little face whiz past my friends page.

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[info]pooppoop
2002-12-01 09:16 am UTC (link)
same here man.
i dont even really know you and when i read it i was like
"oh my god no!"

soooooooooooooo sorry poopie.

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:32 am UTC (link)
thanks you guys. i try to keep birch pictures public because i think a lot of people liked him a lot.. and he was pretty special to even a few people on lj (like one of my friends who hasn't seen this yet.. and i feel bad that he will..)

anyway, i'm sure everyone knows the pain of losing a pet. i get so mad when somewhen says: well, it was just a hamster. we did a lot more than you would think of a person and hamster doing.

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[info]utopian
2002-12-01 02:06 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry.. :(

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:32 am UTC (link)
thanks sam. <3

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[info]method_acting
2002-12-01 05:14 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts. *hugs*.

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:32 am UTC (link)
thanks heather, it is a terrible feeling.

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[info]mourningstarr
2002-12-01 08:08 am UTC (link)
*giggles*

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:27 am UTC (link)
what's funny. my hamster died yesterday.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
awww....
[info]mourningstarr
2002-12-02 01:34 am UTC (link)
awww...I am so sowwy! I just saw the pics and commented. I was in a hurry to work and thought it was a regular post. IAM SO SORRY!!!!

~nicole

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Re: awww....
[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:08 am UTC (link)
it's okay. i didn't mean to sound mad. i'm just sad that he's gone now :/ those pics are pretty old. he actually looked really sick at the end.

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[info]astralweeks
2002-12-01 08:31 am UTC (link)
I'm really sorry about Birch. He was cool. He's somewhere playing with Nigel and Java mouse now...

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-01 09:28 am UTC (link)
god, i hope so. for real. i mean, i don't have a religion and i think most say animals don't have souls but then what was inside birch making him so happy or mad and silly? i'm agnostic i guess.. but i hope he's okay somewhere.

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[info]miss_plini
2002-12-01 09:31 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry, my little kittie, Bagel, who I had for like 15 years died a few months ago, I still think about him every day with great sadness...... I'm not sure it will ever stop, either.....

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:10 am UTC (link)
i just feel bad.. i don't think i ever want to get another one because it's too sad when they die. but someday if my boyfriend and i are still together (in a couple of years from now) he wants to get a dog. god help me if something happens to something bigger. i'm already scared about my bird's life coming to an end because he's the greatest pet i've ever had.

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[info]ex_oroboros138
2002-12-01 02:30 pm UTC (link)
i'm so sorry, love.

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:10 am UTC (link)
thanks meria. <3

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[info]shadykitten
2002-12-01 06:47 pm UTC (link)
rest assured that your baby ham and my baby birdy HAVE moved on to a better place. what was inside our beloved pets was so pure and good that it will last forever no matter where we, or they, go. Even if neither of us believe in a particular thing, pure sunshine like that inside of our pets does go to a better place. my heart is with you, sweetie.

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:11 am UTC (link)
i think that whatever was inside them should go some place too. i feel silly kind of for wondering so much about it just for a small animal but i do.

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[info]shadykitten
2002-12-02 06:36 am UTC (link)
Don't feel silly - you love him, sweetheart.

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*Huggz*
[info]thegeisha
2002-12-01 07:13 pm UTC (link)
I'm so sorry sweetie... I know I never really met him but I'll miss Birch too. *hug*

"God saw a flower, a flower that was so beautiful and brilliant that he picked it from his earthen garden so he could keep it close forever."

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Re: *Huggz*
[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:12 am UTC (link)
thanks shanna. ♥

ps. i got your message last night. thanks for thinking of me! i wasn't home on thanksgiving though because i went to my aunt's! ♥ ♥

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[info]ex_just_kidd591
2002-12-02 11:53 am UTC (link)
oh dear i'm really sorry bout birch. [this is more of a comment on your photojournal's entry about him.] you have every reason to be sad..he sounds like a neat little guy. and don't feel guilty, it was your only option. smile because you were a good owner. and i'm sure you'll find a hamster that was just as neat as birch, just different. =)

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[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 09:57 pm UTC (link)
thanks jess. i really didn't see myself being this sad when he died.. but i am. i thought i'd be okay with it but i guess i'm not.

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hi hun
[info]rainbowdirt
2002-12-02 06:47 pm UTC (link)
urhg i just posted this and it disappeared... anyways
heres the jist again:

hey doll,
im so sorry about your poor baby. i know how sad you must be feeling :( le tigre died last week :( she was really sick, as she has been for 2 months, and she was so weak she just lied in her tube not moving. and we tried giving her water, but she just choked on it. so we made her a bed on paper towels and left her to sleep. and she passed away at night. its so sad. i dont understand why they have to die and why its so so horrible to go thru :( we've just been concentrating on what a great life we did give her. she had fun tubes and stuff. and your little buddy had great adventures in your bedroom! maybe you could make a comic from it! that could help you stop feeling sad. i hope you are feeling better, but if not: 403 278 4989 and i'll talk to ya. i think we have the same type of relationships with our little babies.
love you.
meg ♥

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Re: hi hun
[info]bravenewworld
2002-12-02 06:52 pm UTC (link)
yeah, birch had a great life too but it's hard to think of that when burying the little guy & everything. birch also choked on water but i'm kind of glad that it might have helped him die. he was pretty sick and probably not very comfortable the way he was choking on his own teeth and stuff.

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Re: hi hun
[info]rainbowdirt
2002-12-02 07:02 pm UTC (link)
its sad i know. at least hes not suffering again. le tigre was sick for like 2 months too, so in a way it was good that she passed away and stopped suffering :(
love

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